things that annoy me: when things go accordingly

as an avid reader of my own blog (hey, somebody's increase the hit count and in turn, my self-esteem), i am constantly reminded that my own life is beset by failures and stupidity. so much so that i grow fond of it. when things go right.. it just feels.. weird...

this is how my life generally works. all based on actual events.

me: hey ladies...

me: here little girl, you just add them up like this. see? its simple. now go home and get your daddy to check it for you. oh. is something wrong?


little girl: my daddy's in jail.


me: oh no! i'm soooo sorry!


little girl's bf: yo! you messin' with my girl??


little girl's bf: you little china man. you're not welcome here!


the entire country of mexico: get him!

me: why?!?!

me: this is the worst life ever.

me: eeek.

the end.

but lately, things haven't been like that. nothing crazy's happened. i have NOTHING to blog about. maybe it has to do with my being good for the past few weeks, but i just don't know what to write about. also, one thing i realized is that because i blog about all my stories, i never have anything to say to people. for instance, when i came back from tampa...

me: hey guys! wanna hear about my tampa trip?
guys: no, we read your blog. the "jesus is christmas picture" is funny. everything else sucked.
the end.

sadness. oh well. that's all i got for now. hope everyone is in the holiday spirit and having a great festivus. weeee. until next time, stay safe and have a terrific tuesday.

i have never felt love. until today. & greatest hits, vol. 7

can i plz go to seoul to be with my true love?

so what if i can't tell any of them apart?

sigh, as much as i love white people, they just don't know how to make MVs like the asians.

and now. greatest hits, vol 7.
12.16.07: killing asians yearly in athletics
so i played in a basketball tournament this weekend. it was an all-asian tournament; the rules stated that you had to be at least half-asian.

this is the team we lost to:

do they know the congo is not a part of asia?

the only thing asian about them is that korean coach they have sitting down on the right...
and maybe their choice in ladies. cuz u know those 6'5" tribesmen got a thing for yellow honeys...
yea, so their team name was kaya. which i think stands for korean-african youth association. more like kompletely-african youth association. or perhaps killing asians yearly in athletics? as you might have guessed, they went undefeated and won the tournament.

01.09.08: bringer of awkwardness
so im really bad at remembering names and faces...
and its the second day of class, a random asian guy in my english ii class walks up to me...

bringerofawkwardness: hey
me: hey...
*awkward silence*
*me trying to break silence*
me: you're andrew.. no, michael's friend?
boa: uhh. were you in my inta class?
me: no. *turns around*
that gave him the hint that i didn't want to talk to him anymore...
but... a couple minutes later...
boa: i know where i saw you! at the gym
me: yea, maybe. ok, bye...

then in class we are doing the ice breaker where you say your name, then the next person repeats it and says his/hers as well and etc...

well the girl before him is named april. sidenote, he is a fob...
boa: uhh, i forgot your name...
april: its a month...
boa: oh, ok. amanda...
april: uhh... no its a MONTH.
boa: oh, ok. Amonth...
april: my name is April...
boa: oh, ok. April...


and that's all. short post bc i can't stop watching this MV of my true loves. have a satisfactory saturday!

greatest hits, vol. 6

so i've finished going through my greatest hits from my second xanga, and moving on to my greatest hits from facebook notes.

05.02.07: worst phonecall ever.
this morning, i got the worst phonecall anyone could get at 9 in the morning...
lady: mr. wang?
me: yea?
lady: ur drug test came back, and u tested positive for THC...
me: why?!?!?!
just kidding...i got the second worst phonecall a guy could get at 9 in the morning...

me: hello?
sister: john, im pregnant...
me: why?!?!!
ok, maybe i got the third worst phonecall a guy could get at 9 in the morning...

me: hello?
sister: wake up.
me: why?!?!?!
sister: b/c i need u to get my drivers license and take it to school so i can get my yearbook.
me: why?!?!?!
sister: b/c i said so
me: ok. i love you...
sister: ok
me: i love you...
sister: ok, thats great. hurry up.


07.03.07: summer class failure.
so i haven't been doing so well in school this semester. how do i know this? well, i was copying homework the other day...
me: omg! we learned a new symbol?! wtf does that even mean?! i've never seen that before! sigh at me, i am going to fail so hard.
friend: john, that's a semi-colon.
me: well. that's you needing to work on your penmanship. that's what that is. how am i supposed to copy something if i can't read it?


09.05.07: maybe i should have kept my mouth shut.
today, i was thinking of all the times i should have probably kept my mouth shut. and being the nice guy that i am, i'd like to share them with you...

at albert's house watching an nba special. all of a sudden they show this guy in an army uniform with hair all gelled looking somewhat fruity...
me: who is this fruitcake? he looks like a backstreet boy. why do they keep showing him and why is he wearing an army uniform like he's in the army or something? go back to the basketball, no one cares about this crap.
albert: john. he's in the army. and he got injured in iraq and now he's deaf.
me: o. ic.

at lunch with a group of people...suddenly a certain person's name pops up.
me: omg, him/her? i hate him/her. he/she is so freaking ugly. i know his/her sister/brother too. their whole family is ugly. i hate them all.
nam: john, thats his/her best friend right there.
me: o. ic.

at somewhere with some friends.
me: man, i hate taiwanese people. they're all so dirty...
friend: he'/she's taiwanese.
me: yea, so the taiwanese are dirty.

at the basketball court...after a black person asks me my name...
me: my name's john. whats yours? j-kwon? jamal? omarion? caramel?
bill: bill.
me: o. ic.

at dinner with some friends...
me: mm, those kasa shirts weren't bad. but the csa shirts were uuuugly! that yellow with the panda. man, that was the ugliest panda i've ever seen in my life. whoever made that shirt is retarded!
katherine: john, i made that shirt....
me: o. ic.
hubert: and i picked out the rest of the design.
me: why does no one tell me these things ahead of time?!?!

and that's all i got for now. too tired for a real update about my weekend. sprained my ankle today and hating life so much. aaargh.

this is either a great idea. or a horrible idea.

today is my first company holiday party. the dress says holiday business casual. and i don't know about you, but nothing says business and casual like this man here.

the general.

business..

and casual.

and how do i add the holiday? how about a little poinsettia action?

holiday business casual. done.

this will either be a great party. or a horrible one. i'll decide after i find out if i have a job tomorrow. have a wonderful weekend everyone!

random ramblings and tampa.

all my life i have done nothing but try to make my life a better place for my sister. i have taken down gangmembers that have corrupted the streets of lilburn, i have taken drugs out of the community, i have even prevented her from buying drugs by stealing her money (if she doesn't have money, she can't buy drugs; don't doubt my reasoning). and how does she repay me?
*at work
me: not coming home for dinner. sorry! don't miss me too much
sister: good. never come home.
me: !

at this time i change my gchat status to "sister: never come home."
to which she responds..
sister: obviously there is nothing exciting in your life so you have to put me in your status.

sigh. i think i shed a tear at work... well, i would have. if i wasn't too busy cleaning out my internet history and cache. you see, i accidentally went to my blog at work. how did i accidentally do that? quite simple. you see, i am actually quite dumb. i was at work and received an email from a couple friends stating that they had started their own food blogs.
well i went to check them out. and noticed that one of them had subscribed their blog to mine. and that got me excited. and that got me thinking. oh! i wonder if there is anything new on my own blog. and so i clicked the link to superstrongjohn. and then i realized.
I WRITE MY OWN BLOG. THERE IS NOTHING NEW BECAUSE I HAVE NOT WRITTEN ANYTHING. FML.
and now there is a connection between my blog and work. and i am soon to be fired.

mm, let's see. what's new. i went to tampa over the weekend. and was super good. i am now 4 weeks clean. this was the most rebellious thing i did all weekend.

damn, its hard to be a gangster.

i don't really have too much on tampa. it was a good trip and a great game. really, this next picture says it all.

weeee.

who knew football could be so fun? in case you didn't know, i'm not that big a fan of football. i mean, i love all sports and i like to watch it on tv, but im not one to go on a roadtrip to watch "my" team play. i say "my" because technically, i hate georgia tech for the four years of pain she has caused me. anyways, i basically went to gain the respect of my coworkers. if there is one thing white people love, it is NCAA football. that and asian girls. but i think they would take a beer and NCAA football over an asian girl anyday. and now that i've gone on my first roadtrip to a football game, i must say it was quite fun and i might be inclined to do it again. esp to see things like this...

i did not know this.

did anyone else see this in the stadium? a group of middleaged men walked around with this sign the whole time. it was.. weird... but other than that, the trip was good. highlights of the trip include:
eating a whole pizza minus one slice

yum. diets are not allowed during vacations.

finding this weird sign...

the upcoming right turn goes over railroad tracks that lead straight to fire.

hugging this cool blowup doll...

weeee.

perhaps a bit too much...

my bad.

lastly, i recently found this "reactions" checkbox thing. i've been waiting for something like this since forever and its been on blogger since forever. i feel like its annoying to have to click "comment" and then sign in and leave a comment. seriously, i never comment on blogs i read.. so this makes it easier to just check what you like. we have "ultrahilarious" as the best. followed by "yourblogisfail" which is not so good. and then the worst, "didandywritethis." andy is a dear friend of mine who writes and sounds like a preteen girl. jk. love you andy!

also, i know its finals week to everyone still in college. good luck and i'll try to post something else tomorrow to keep you from studying. and as always, superstrongjohn is not responsible for lower grades and/or decreased productivity. until next time, have a thrilling thursday.

why i can never be an abercombie model.

as i child, i wanted to be many things: a house painter, a firefighter, a teacher, an NBA player. none of these came to pass as i was too short or my parents did not think those careers were suitable areas of employment for me. instead they chose the career of engineer, for which i was also not suitable for as i am quite possibly the worst engineer in the world.
well, as i got older, i found another profession that i thought was rather interesting. that of an abercrombie model. however, that obsession was quickly derailed as i noticed one glaring characteristic that i lacked.

how is that possible?!

honestly, is it just me, or do abercrombie models have obscenely long lower abdomens? apparently, this is known as the "abercrombie V" as stated on urban dictionary. do guy really wear their pants that low on their hips? am i missing out on the latest fashion trend? i first remember seeing this look in fight club with brad pitt. and i thought it was just his amazingness that allowed him to look as he did. but now, every mall i go to i see...

maybe if you didn't wear your shorts so low, you wouldn't have to hold them up?
abercrombie must have a secret breeding ground for guys like this...

anyways, so i'm basically jealous of these models and their amazing bodies. i've even tried to model with my shorts as low as theirs.

seriously, any lower and my mother would not approve.

in other news, i've been good for 3 weeks now, spending most of my free time reading. and it's been ok. haven't found any amazing books since "catcher in the rye" though. i stopped reading that anti-fastfood book because it kept making me crave mcdonalds. "the beautiful game" was pretty good though. any book about basketball is good.

a beautiful book about a beautiful game on a beautiful day.

also, one of my new years resolutions for 2009 was to hang out with white people. and i finally did that last weekend. look at that multi-cultural-ness.

to tell you the truth, i can't tell any of these white people apart.

after hanging out with people that look like this for the first 22 years of my life...

it was rather refreshing to talk to whities. who also happen to be my favorite race.
but, honestly, i have a hard time telling you white people apart. i mean, you guys say asians all look alike, but i seriously cannot tell one white girl from another. it is something that i must work on.

lastly, i'll be going to tampa this weekend to watch the gatech/clemson football game. yes, you read that right. i'm mostly going so my coworkers stop looking down on me. one thing that white people love is NCAA football. they live and breath that junk. so in an effort to close the gap between me and them i decided to go to this game so they will think i am cool. i even bought new shoes for the event.

if they don't think i'm cool after this, i don't know what else to do.

and that's all i've got for now. just a quick post before i get ready for bed and the weekend. hopefully, i'll have a better worthwhile post when i come back. until next time, have a wonderful weekend and, as always, safety first.

greatest hits, vol. 5

07.10.06: my future best friends

so a couple weeks ago, i was forced to study with a *my future best friends!*


everyone was enjoying themselves....


giggling and all that good stuff...


except me.

my ankle still looks like its swollen? thats not good..




then everyone decided to buy skittles...


and everyone giggled some more...


except me...


then the *amazingly smart* girl in red decides to eat all the pink skittles at once...


then he decides to race her with the blue ones...


naturally, the girl lost. men > women.


right before she was about to explode. she began foaming at the mouth right after this...


thats what a glob of skittles look like...

highlight of the night.
girl in the red: *with the skittles in her mouth* i can't *gasp* breath! *gasp* can't *gasp* help *gasp* me!

all of that occurred the summer after freshmen year. here is a picture from my senior year with my same two friends.

as you can see here. our study habits have not changed much.
i think my next post will detail more on this night.

also. this is how much my family loves watermelon.

i did not have any of the coke.

mm, thanksgiving break was good but short. i stayed good. except for my spending which was out of control and bad. i don't want to talk about it right now. also i'm too tired to update so i'm out. gotta work off that thanksgiving dinner. have a super sunday!

my weekend of goodness + things that annoy me + greatest hits

this weekend i had 0 alcohol. however, to make up for my lack of alcohol, my body decided to eat away its sadness. for instance, on friday, i worked out for 4 hrs after work (so good!). from 6-10 i was playing ball and working out. and then to compensate for this ultra goodness, i decided to order 20 dollars worth of food. for myself.

yum.

on the second day of goodness, i completed my promise to myself to start reading again. i read a lot over the summer and since getting a job, i've basically stopped. so i got myself a couple books, found a nice little bench and read.

unfortunately, fast food nation got me a little hungry.. so i got a mcchicken and a double cheese for a little mid-reading snack. aren't these fast food books supposed to make people never want fast food again? clearly, this is not the case. mcdonalds should thank eric schlosser for the free marketing.

"the dark side of the all-american meal" is delicious.

today, i had waffle house for dinner. don't judge me. it was not my idea. never allow a taiwanese to choose where to eat dinner.

and now, an installment of "things that annoy me" and "greatest hits."

things that annoy me: twilight. i cannot stand this preteen crap that prohibits me from shopping at the mall because every parking space is filled with carloads of preteen girls waiting to see this craptasitic movie. sigh. and men's health, i love your magazine. but seriously, if you ever put another twilight member on the cover i will cut you. well, if you do have this guy on your cover, at least show his muscles. of which he does have a lot of, i was very impressed. i give credit where credit is due.

i wish twilight and harry potter would die.

greatest hits, vol 4.

01.03.06: baby jesus

my grandfather just told me i used to sleep in a manger with straw and a cow and manure.
i was such a privileged child.

wait, does this make me baby jesus?

02.12.06: michelle kwan drops out of the olympics.

omg, the worst possible thing that could happen has happened...
michelle kwan has dropped out of the olympics because of a groin injury. wow.

i remember watching her during the nationals when they had them in atlanta. even though i had to sneak into the rink like the ninja that i am, it was amazing. i knew after watching her skate, i was in love. and now she can never reach her goal of olympic gold. :(. unless she tries again in 2010. highly improbable, but possible. she'd be 29. maria butyskaya won the worlds when she was 27...

i wish nancy kerrigan had her kneecap blown off instead of just simply injured so michelle coulda skated the 94 olympics.
or tara lipinski got ********** (redacted for fear of losing my job).
i also wish mrs. hughes (sarah and emily hughes' mom) got punched in the baby maker when she was pregnant so michelle woulda had a better chance at gold.
i hate them all. and i hate the new judging system. and the french for messing up the previous judging system.

by far, this is going to be the worst birthday ever. :(.

excuse me while i cry...

how can u not cry with after looking at this picture.

i miss michelle.

04.06.06: csa basketball tournament

ok, so csa put up pictures of the basketball tournament. and i decided to put some up with my usual modifications. with these pictures, you can probably figure out why we lost...

so its us 3 asians vs the 3 black kids. we also had a big white boy on our team. the africans had some asian guy on their team.

i think maybe first play of the game. defensive player of the year.

way to pass to the wrong team.

y am i falling? nobody is even touching me...

here i am again. falling. and no one is touching me. this black kid is already better than me.

no comment needed.

no comment needed.

again. no comment needed.

no comme..wait. maybe. i suck at basketball. yea, thats a good comment.

mm, box out much?

yep. that's how much i suckkk....

at least i don't suck as much as this guy...

04.26.06: i hate the georgia institute of technology.

i hate the georgia institute of technology.

my best post ever. 15 comments, 26 eprops. word.

and that's all i've got for now. hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. until next time, stay safe and study hard.