greatest hits, vol. 6

so i've finished going through my greatest hits from my second xanga, and moving on to my greatest hits from facebook notes.

05.02.07: worst phonecall ever.
this morning, i got the worst phonecall anyone could get at 9 in the morning...
lady: mr. wang?
me: yea?
lady: ur drug test came back, and u tested positive for THC...
me: why?!?!?!
just kidding...i got the second worst phonecall a guy could get at 9 in the morning...

me: hello?
sister: john, im pregnant...
me: why?!?!!
ok, maybe i got the third worst phonecall a guy could get at 9 in the morning...

me: hello?
sister: wake up.
me: why?!?!?!
sister: b/c i need u to get my drivers license and take it to school so i can get my yearbook.
me: why?!?!?!
sister: b/c i said so
me: ok. i love you...
sister: ok
me: i love you...
sister: ok, thats great. hurry up.


07.03.07: summer class failure.
so i haven't been doing so well in school this semester. how do i know this? well, i was copying homework the other day...
me: omg! we learned a new symbol?! wtf does that even mean?! i've never seen that before! sigh at me, i am going to fail so hard.
friend: john, that's a semi-colon.
me: well. that's you needing to work on your penmanship. that's what that is. how am i supposed to copy something if i can't read it?


09.05.07: maybe i should have kept my mouth shut.
today, i was thinking of all the times i should have probably kept my mouth shut. and being the nice guy that i am, i'd like to share them with you...

at albert's house watching an nba special. all of a sudden they show this guy in an army uniform with hair all gelled looking somewhat fruity...
me: who is this fruitcake? he looks like a backstreet boy. why do they keep showing him and why is he wearing an army uniform like he's in the army or something? go back to the basketball, no one cares about this crap.
albert: john. he's in the army. and he got injured in iraq and now he's deaf.
me: o. ic.

at lunch with a group of people...suddenly a certain person's name pops up.
me: omg, him/her? i hate him/her. he/she is so freaking ugly. i know his/her sister/brother too. their whole family is ugly. i hate them all.
nam: john, thats his/her best friend right there.
me: o. ic.

at somewhere with some friends.
me: man, i hate taiwanese people. they're all so dirty...
friend: he'/she's taiwanese.
me: yea, so the taiwanese are dirty.

at the basketball court...after a black person asks me my name...
me: my name's john. whats yours? j-kwon? jamal? omarion? caramel?
bill: bill.
me: o. ic.

at dinner with some friends...
me: mm, those kasa shirts weren't bad. but the csa shirts were uuuugly! that yellow with the panda. man, that was the ugliest panda i've ever seen in my life. whoever made that shirt is retarded!
katherine: john, i made that shirt....
me: o. ic.
hubert: and i picked out the rest of the design.
me: why does no one tell me these things ahead of time?!?!

and that's all i got for now. too tired for a real update about my weekend. sprained my ankle today and hating life so much. aaargh.