how to know when a party is over.

i really have not been updating this blog as often as i would like. and for that i apologize. these past two months have been pretty gosh darn crazy. the working life is great. i can't believe i wanted to stay in school. sure, college life was great, but having money is even greater. loves it.
in these two months i've learned quite a lot: what to not to say to me co-workers, what links to not send to my boss, when to stop drinking, etc. well, i'm having trouble with that last part, but its a constant learning process. i'm getting there.

what did i learn this weekend? how to know when a party is over.

here, we see everyone enjoying themselves with some food. this is where many parties originate. at a semi-boring get to know you event usually revolving around food.

just so you know, i was good. i did not eat anything at this dinner. diet success.

here, you see the classic pre-drunk picture. everyone is smiling, looking at the camera.

weeee.

compare that with the following picture. clearly this picture was taken during a party. no one seems to know whats going on. one person's happy, the other is mad, neither are looking at the camera.

skinny on the left is so happy. fatty on the right is so angry. what does this mean? with an increase of fat, comes an increase of anger and unhappiness. correlation implies causation.

another picture taken during the party. here you see what is commonly known as bromance. not generally seen before a party, but as soon as the party starts there is groping and hugging to be had.

why is my head 1/2 size of everyone elses?

and now, how do you know when its time to go home?
when girls decide that you are a stripper pole and decide to dance on you rather than with you.

also when a kid is on the ground.

when you look to your left...

and to your right..

and both people are dead...

when it's 5 in the afternoon and you are found in this position...

fml.

when you decide it is socially acceptable to use your body as a pu-pu platter...

this anonymous person reminds me of a redneck after tailgating.

but the number one way to know when a party is over...

WHEN SOMEONE THROWS UP ON YOUR SHOES. WHO DOES THAT?!

oh wait, i know who.

remember kid on the ground? he owes me a new pair of shoes.

fml. worst life ever. i loved those shoes so much.

sidenote: no alcohol was used in the taking of many of these pictures. most pictures were staged and/or taken out of context. there is an explanation for all the various poses and seemingly professionally condemning photos. please do not fire me. i am so good. if you are confused on any of these pictures, there is a perfectly good explanation to all of them. all you have to do is ask.

in other news.

i bought new shoes.

and now you know. that's all for now. time to be good forever. have a super sunday and a wonderful week!